Monday, April 6, 2009

A little head & a swallow. A palate cleanser...

A little head from: Kiosk

Image: New York Public Library Digital Gallery

Toot toot! Welcome to my stop on the Blow Hard 2009 Blog Tour. Only, since I'm rather old-fashioned, let's pretend we're travelling by train. I think it's much more romantic. And imagine the kind of locomotive from days of yore, like the 2oth Century Limited in "North by Northwest."

What are we doing here, you might be asking? Well, Sommer Marsden started it! All because of one woman's remark. But, look what happened! The happy little suckers came out of the closet and the kingdom rejoiced! And people connoitered -- even reconnoitered -- and there was dialogue, discourse, amusement, food for thought. Most important were the words and the words and the words and the words and the words and the words, even! My, there were so many of them, with a cascade of vocabulary still to come! And there shall be prizes! The more frequently you comment the greater your chance of winning, like the Lottery!

BTW: Comments are now open! The doctor is in! Anyone stopping by before but too shy to speak, you are most welcome for a return visit. Come again, comment often, in fact!

So, here we are, just past our journey's midpoint, and I thought it was time for a palate cleanser. I'd like to offer you a medley of distractions, in case you get bored. I have music, singing, pictures of funny things, videos. We go down in elevators, too! (My personal suggestion is to play the YouTube fare simultaneously, for a Babel Tower experience.)

As for today's theme I hope the title of my post gives you a tip: I'd like to guide you towards observing two senses that interest me very much, especially when it comes to sex: taste and smell -- they're intertwined. Here are two multiple choice polls, which I am leaving open forever. [Please select any and all choices in each poll before you click 'vote' -- repeat votes won't work; you only get one chance. So if, say, five options apply to you then check them and pull that voting lever!]. I'd love for you to participate! Remember, once you draw the curtain closed behind you nobody but you and your conscience will know how your vote was cast. Not even me.

My goal is that these questions and answers, besides possibly making you laugh, provoke further research and development behind the virtual curtain, in my comments section. Feel free to join in and contribute, even if you're new to these parts. You don't have to register or pay dues and can even be anonymous or naked, or both!

To add grist to the proverbial mill, here is a provocative article to start you off, and a product that claims to make semen taste its sweetest. Otherwise, according to the manufacturer, you'll need to purchase and/or digest a pineapple plantation. In a bit of a coinkidink, Sommer herself posted about taste yesterday, with a lovely compendium of information she received from Jeremy Edwards. I'm repeating it not to copycat but because it incidentally relates to my topic for today's stop. Also, there will be a quiz later. (Just kidding.) I thought it would add more stimulation to our discussion, as if we needed any.

To be honest, I feel like somewhat of a Fellatio Fraud. I realised I only write about it in spurts, no pun intended. So, last night I penned a little piece from Memory Lane. It's all true. Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent. It's not completely about fellatio, either, but it's a kind of penis portrait study, a still life. Well, yes and no... Please enjoy this page from my diary. There's been so much good writing on this Blow Hard Blog Tour that it humbles me. And, most of the preceding Tour Guides tend to write about things based in reality, or about what I call "innerings." I generally do not. One foot is always somewhere else (not sure where that is but it's not here). Oh, there's also a snippet of a piece I wrote about smell. It follows the illustration of swallow heads. At any rate, there's lots to keep your attention. The real show is the gabfest behind the scenes, in the back room, i.e. the comments area.

So, let us step into the Time Machine, shall we?


© 2009 by EllaRegina

Once upon a time, long long ago, when people still had pubic hair, I knew a beautiful man in a country bounteous with attractive folk whose names had many vowels. He taught me things. He showed me things. He had a lovely thick snake between his legs with a branch of veins and I found that I could easily charm it, and make it expand like an accordion, sometimes just by being in the same room.

The snake cried long thin tears, clear rice noodles. Once I went away to a distant land and the beautiful man told me that while I was gone he thought of me. He recounted how he had stood one August afternoon on the Via Whatever, and as my image filled his head, so his snake filled and started to cry its fishing line noodle tear downwards, where it met the sidewalk from inside his baggy shorts. His underwear, if he wore any, was not tight fitting.

He could do nothing, he said, but stand there thinking of me, as if he were playing a game of Statue. He was stuck to the sidewalk, a strand of Spiderman's web holding him in place, going from point A to point B like a string.

A woman passed by at that very moment, he reported, and saw the clear noodle's shine -- a ray of light from his clothing, gluing him in his sneakers to the warm cement -- and gave him a very dirty look. But he was paralysed.

I took his snake inside my mouth and it performed tricks, ultimately filling my stomach with slippery warm noodles. Sometimes I would stroke him just so I could watch the spouting of Morse Code bursts. I knew they spelled something. It contained a Marconi message expressly for me. That was certain.

When he was as deep inside me as my small mouth would permit, my nose in the forestation of his curly brown, I breathed in his mix of coffee and Jack Daniels, of oceans away, the briny deep, swimming pools, bleach and sun, blended with metal and funghi porcini mushrooms grown in the pitch of wooded shadows -- collectively a dark consuming spice. I wanted to eat him. Surf and Turf.

I was always asking questions -- sometimes about words, expressions, their origins. I had not seen many snakes by that point. His was the only one a carnival member had let me see the most of and for such an extended time. I really got to know that serpent. One day after charming its head and smooth snakeskin with my too-small mouth I asked the beautiful man: "Why do they call it giving head?" In my mind there were just three possible answers; I posed each one in the form of a question:

1. Is it because the head of your snake is involved?

2. Is it because my head is the active participant?

3. Is it because your overflow resembles the head of a glass of beer, as it's filled from a spigot?

He laughed and said "All of the above."

And then we charmed each other some more.

Often, while he was still asleep, especially in the morning when his snake turned into a sturdy sapling, I would creep underneath the blanket or slither my way up his body between steamy skin and the long nightshirt he wore, which enveloped us like a hobo pouch, until I found the dormant snake, curled slightly like a snail. I would suck it slowly, a thumb without a bone, until it grew one, coming alive in my mouth and, in the process, awakening the slumbering man to whom it was attached.

I called these sessions Breakfast in Bed. They were all Self-Service, not Room. No need to call out. And you knew it would be a good day when it started with liquid protein, fortified and filling, delivered piping hot from a dependable snake.

Image: New York Public Library Digital Gallery

Here is a snippet about smell, from a shorty I wrote for one of Alison Tyler's wonderful short-short-short story contests. My piece was called Around the World and it had three parts. This section took place in Roma:

Around the World

© 2008 by EllaRegina

We come to Rome after an extended period in a soulless Northern European country. The difference between the two places is palpable, literally. All one has to do is clamber onto the early Monday #44 bus ascending the Gianicolo hill in late July -- no air-conditioning, everyone perspiring. Women don't shave under their arms. Americans are trained to abhor this, as well as any corporal odor, but luckily my boyfriend and I are not most Americans. The #44 smells like sex on wheels and we are in olfactory heaven.

He turns to me and says "You can tell who just got fucked this morning," and I agree. The other thing: you know that everyone on the bus has a clean set of genitals; Italians are meticulous about bidet use. Every ass, pussy, cock and ball is fresh -- ready to be had and enjoyed At Any Moment. Benvenuti in Italia! We arrive at his apartment and are fucking like dogs as soon as our shoes reach the entryway floor tiles, luggage dropped, the keys still lodged and swaying in the half-open door.


ALERT: If you listen closely a man says one must
swallow to alleviate any discomfort while going down.

Please disembark this love train at the next village, where our Tour Guide, the delightful Marina St. Clare, will take you by the hand and carry your bags.

Here is the entire lineup, including who, um, came before, should you need to bone up! (The links go directly to the Tour posts; ditto re the Tour Guides after me. You'll be taken right to their offerings, as soon as I have the respective posts' URLs.)

March 31st: Sommer Marsden
April 1: Alison Tyler
April 2: Dakota Rebel
April 3: Erobintica
April 4: Cora Zane
April 5: Heidi Champa
April 6: EllaRegina (Me! You're already here.)
April 7: Marina St. Clare
April 8: Emerald
April 9: Kristina Wright
April 10: Isabel Kerr
April 11: Neve Black
April 12: Surprise Mystery Guest #1!
April 13: Surprise Mystery Guest #2!


Anonymous said...

I know, I know, I'm starting off the comments again today, but I'm an early riser and first thing in the morning is when I write. Plus, it's Monday morning and I have go to work.

Smell and taste. Very important features along with the other things we've talked about. I've described my lover's smell as "his sweet sober scent"--clean, sharp, natural, not reeking of alcohol, totally there in the moment with me.

And, I alluded a few days ago that he tried the pineapple "cure" although his jism is quite delicious on its own, thank you very much. I did think it tasted a bit sweeter after the fruit cocktail but it could've been suggestive thinking on my part. He's all good.

Yes, a man with nasty juice can be quite the turn-off. Best to know the signs of eruption and run for the hills before it blows.

Thanks, EllaRegina for hosting and for your wonderful links, music, polls, etc. So much to absorb! I will definitely be late for work...

See y'all later tonite--have fun!


Aisling Weaver said...

"I called these sessions Breakfast in Bed."

Ahh...the best way to start the day, isn't it? My man gets grumpy on the weekends when he doesn't get woke up in such a way ;)

Such a lovely way to start the week, Ella!! Love the polls and can't wait to see the results at the end of the day! And can you imagine the variety of head that could be given on a train? Sleeper cars, Pullman cars, viewing cars, cabooses! All such fun!

Back to work I go, but thank you for a lovely way to start! :)


Alison Tyler said...

That's a whole lot to, um, swallow. I think I'm going to be here awhile...


Marina said...

Oh my, ER, so much to do and to see - and taste and smell! The polls and the links and the videos and the story - all fabulous fun! I've gotta run now, but I hope to be back to visit more later!

Craig Sorensen said...

Being more of a pitcher than a receptacle, I wasn't really in a position to answer the questions properly, but I did thoroughly your very "EllaRegina" presentation. Loved the films, and especially your story.

The opener Once upon a time, long long ago, when people still had pubic hair... is an absolutely awesome opening line for an erotic tale.

Sadly, Now I must go into work where visits to "non work related websites" is strictly Verboten and will miss the 10 AM "unveiling."

But I'll be here in spirit.

Cora Zane said...

Ella, it's like a carnival of blow job fun over here! And you have a time machine to boot!

neve black said...

You're a crack up! I think I (heart)you. The train ride was so enchanting! Fun, sexy, and enchanting. Hot as hell and enchanting. Is there a theme I'm trying to get across here? :-)

I was looking for the, "Hi. I'm a pervert." answer on your voting scale. haha.

Your story was was divine of snake man: "...I breathed in his mix of coffee and Jack Daniels, of oceans away, the briny deep, swimming pools, bleach and sun, blended with metal and funghi porcini mushrooms grown in the pitch of wooded shadows -- collectively a dark consuming spice. I wanted to eat him. Surf and Turf...." Loved this!

What ever happened to that dude? Have you thought of resetting the dial on that time machine and looking for him?

I'll be back later after you've risen (yep, I just said that).

p.s. Sommer, maybe we should all send the woman who inspired this tour a thank you note. This has been the most fun. :-)

Erobintica said...

Those polls are priceless!

My brain is still in bed, I'll comment more later.

Jeremy Edwards said...

What a many-faceted delight!


And even though I'm a stranger to sucking stick, I just had to tick "I gargle & yodel." I mean, how could I resist! (I'm figuring there's some noodle nosher out there who really does gargle & yodel—but who won't see your blog—and thus mine can be considered a proxy vote.)

I only write about it in spurts


And what a beautiful excerpt.

I took his snake inside my mouth and it performed tricks, ultimately filling my stomach with slippery warm noodles. Sometimes I would stroke him just so I could watch the spouting of Morse Code bursts. I knew they spelled something. It contained a Marconi message expressly for me. That was certain.

From macaroni to Marconi, all in one paragraph!

a thumb without a bone, until it grew one

Terrific image!

Donna said...

This is a fabulous way to start the week! An EllaRegina feast in every way--treats for the eye, tidbits to make us laugh, poetry to charm all the senses, and best of all that unique, sharp intelligence you bring to every topic. I LOVED "Sucking A." and the dreamy, witty fairytale quality of it. Rather like giving a blow job to Jon Stewart.

In my readings about blow jobs in fiction and journalism, I have been struck by how men seem disgusted by their own jiz. The focus on this awesome tour has been the women who love giving head--and god knows, we need more and more and more women to step forward and say YES!--but how I'd love to put my arm around all those men who are wracked with the same self-disgust as Hank Hyena and say "sure, if some one-night stand is sucking your cock, she's not going to spread your jiz on her toast, but with the right woman, who loves YOU, she'll love your jiz. Honest." Or maybe that's just me.

Not surprising the way doctors deny the taste factor. Don't believe them. I have personal experience with the organic vegetarian thing. It makes a difference. I hear cinnamon sweetens all the body secretions as well, for men and women, and celery cleans you up. But again, if you love the taste of a man's kisses, his jiz is just fine. When you're turned on and he's rubbing it all warm and fresh on your lips, it tastes more than fine.

Thank you for this tasty treat, ER!

EllaRegina said...

Welcome, everyone!

I am up and at 'em!

G'morning, Cerulean! I like "his sweet sober scent -- nice! Ah, yes, it was you with the pineapple "cure." Some men just taste good as they is. There are opinions about this, like in the Salon article I mention. I think certain things like smoking and asparagus have a deleterious effect, as do obvious bad habits. It's nice when you are with someone whose taste/smell/whatever works just fine. Sometimes one can be attracted to a person physically but then find out they hate their smell, for example. That's happened to me on several occasions. Shame because I otherwise liked the men. I just couldn't get past the wall of odor. :-( With semen taste it's not usually a quality immediately perceived, like with smell. It's just a gamble, I suppose. See you later tonight! Thanks for being my first commenter. There should be a special prize for that!

Hi, JM! Yes, I'm looking forward to the poll results, too! I'm not sure they are working as they are supposed to; I want you to be able to click several boxes at once. Maybe I misunderstood the PollDaddy directions. Will go back and edumacate myself and tweak if need be. Yes, BJing on a train! That's a whole 'nuther story. I'd like to be BJing while someone attends to my caboose. Multitasking and "riding" the rails! ;-) Thanks for coming 'round. Check in later on!

Hi, Alison! Are you still here, swallowing? I hope you're enjoying yourself! Thank you very much for, um, coming! Happy to have you, anytime, night or day!

Hello, Marina! Yes, I know, it's an ADD delight, or nightmare, depending. I tried to give people lots of stuff to do while they were waiting or to inspire commentary. See you when you return! Thanks for hopping my train today.

Hi, Craig! Yeah, I was wondering if I should make a separate poll for the "pitchers" but figured a man could also vote as if speaking for himself but describing what she does to you, or what your ideal is. I imagine most men want to be swallowed, but I could be wrong. Some men think kissing a woman after she's had a mouthful of his ejaculate is "gay." I find that homophobic but also a sign of a man uptight with his own body. But that's just me... I'm glad you enjoyed my presentation, especially the story. I wrote it while I was waiting to fall asleep Saturday night. Damn those NSFW jobs! Come back when it's safe for you. Thanks for showing up!

Hi, Cora! Yup, it's a carnival all right. Would you like me to guess your weight? Special discount to the sideshow today. We have a man with a three-headed penis! And, yeah, ain't time machines fun!? Glad you could make this stop!

Hi, Neve! Thank you for coming! Yes, those train scenes are so sexy. Glad you liked them. I did't know if it was cool to change the bus into a train but, you know, it's virtual. At least we're not in a Weinermobile, though that has it's own merits, and would, especially in this case. No, I didn't mention pervert. I figured for many it went without saying, like, um, with me. And "Other" gives one the opportunity to detail any specific perversion. Feel free, my dear! ;-) I'm glad you liked the story, too. I wasn't sure whether I should post a memoir. I think there's a different tone than my regular work. Also, perhaps bittersweet, as many reflections are. I was 21. Oh, the dude is still around. Someone else is charming his beautiful snake. But I'm ok with it. We weren't really a match, all things considered. If only I could have just had the snake, but there is always the person attached. Oh, le drag! See you, later! And, YAY, praise to Sommer for hatching this endeavor! WTG!

Hi, Robin! Thanks for rolling out of bed for me. Happy you enjoyed my voting booths. Come back when your brain catches up with the rest of you!

EllaRegina said...

Welcome, Jeremy! I love to please you, many-facettedly! Yeah, nobody uses connoitered enough any more. I found a funny definition for it. Something like "what one must to in order to be able to reconnoit." ;-) Oh, so glad you enjoyed the excerpt, except technically it's a whole story, though I suppose in theory it is a piece of a larger story -- mine, and as such an excerpt from what I call my life. I can certainly expand it. I think that's one of my back-burner projects, a memoir. I seem to remember things. Hahah! I noticed the macaroni-Marconi segue, too! Figured you'd also pick up on it, what with being a wordsmything punster. That thumb without a bone thing just came to me out of nowhere, probably off someone's hand. ;-) For a moment I thought that phrase wouldn't fly, for intimations of "underage sex!" :-0

Good morning, Donna! I forgot that Monday is the beginning of the week! Glad I could give people a little pep in their doings! I'm tickled you dug "Sucking A." (Pun on 'fucking A,' of course. Like, duh.) But his name began with the letter A. Wow, this could almost be a "Sesame Street" episode! And yeah, it was a kind of Jon Stewart type. He (JS) is surely getting around in our blog comments these days, or so it seems. He's just so attractive, especially if you like that sort of man, which many of the sardonic and word-lovin' girls (and maybe some boys) do. We're going to wrassle over him, Miss. I know it will come to that. I was going to fight you on a plane last time, remember? Yeah, a man being repulsed by his own juices. IJDGI. We should start a support group for these poor misguided souls. Why don't they embrace their total selves? Doctors!? Do people really listen to them anymore? I think there have been proven measurable experiential differences, as you say, depending on certain foods or a vegetarian diet, for example. Of course taste in general is so subjective and in the beholder's eye, but still. I imagined the food/semen issue would spark your mind in many ways. ;-) And you're right about the kisses. They can trump almost anything. You're welcome for my taste offerings! Come by later when I serve tea!

Alison Tyler said...

Hi ER,

Yes, I'm still here. Swallowing. (Better than if I said it was a lot to chew on, right?)

You've created such a gallery of BJ-related items to observe and manipulate. I'm kind of speechless. Thank god the rest of you are so articulate!


EllaRegina said...

Ah, Neve! I am still sleep-sodden here and misread your comment. Not that I don't want to praise Sommer to the skies and beyond but you mean the woman who was not keen on blow jobs, right? Yes, she deserves a prize, most definitely! A thank you note at the very least! I wonder if Sommer has already pointed her in the Tour's direction. Perhaps she might be persuaded to change her mind...

neve black said...

Baby I'm back and I know I done ya' wrong.... I love entering into a conversation with that phrase.

All this talk of blow jobs on trains (Risky Business comes to mind) and I didn't once speak about the essence of taste and smell.

The natural scent of a man can send shivers between my legs. I usually prefer men with darker skin, probably because it's the complete opposite of my snow white, Irish complexion. Dark skinned men are yummy and smell so damn good to me. I have a friend who's with a man she say's has NO smell. He's smellness? Is that correct? Smellness might be a deal breaker for me.

Taste: God. I love the taste of cum: salty, sweaty, yum. I'll have to experiment with Donna's advice on cinnamon.

Here's a question: How much of the smell affects the taste? I personally think they're related.

Yes, I'm having a blast. Waving to everyone.

p.s. I checked in with Isabel after learning about EQ in central Italy. All is well with she and loved ones. :-)

EllaRegina said...

Wow! AT rendered speechless! I better lie down. Now I'm speechless! Why, thank you! I'm chuffed that you like my funhouse!

Heidi Champa said...

I, like Alison, will have to spend some time going through all of these wonderful items. But, I just wanted to say hello, EllaRegina. Loved the story, I cheated and read that first.

Now, I'm off to answer the questions and watch the videos. Be back soon.

EllaRegina said...

Hi, Neve! Ya didn't do me no wrong, don't vorry! But, yeah, good opener!

It's possible not to smell. Medical issues. Or, excessive bathing. Those smells are there for a good reason. We are animals, after all. Oh, smell is definitely a deal breaker for me, as already noted.

I agree that smell and taste are related. When you have a cold and your nose is stuffed, don't foods (and other things... heh heh heh) taste differently?

Glad you're having fun here!

Yes, I just saw a news item about the earthquake and Isabel did come to mind. Glad to hear she's ok. Is she in that area? Somehow I thought not. Better look at my atlas again. What a tragedy! Horrible.

EllaRegina said...

Hi, Heidi! That's the kind of cheating I like! ;-) Hope you enjoy the rest of the show. I like that YouTube offers 'round the clock entertainment! Like Las Vegas...

Are the polls allowing you to vote on two items (or more) in the same poll? I still haven't gotten my act together to check that out.

neve black said...

EQ's are like a great orgasm, they're centered in one place, but you can feel the aftershocks for miles and miles....

Ode to Isabel being safe and fortunately not living anywhere near where the EQ was this a.m.

Now I'm going to be quiet and let someone else speak. Shhh...Neve. Shhh.

EllaRegina said...

It's been pretty quiet in here, actually...

Maybe everyone is at lunch.

Isabel Kerr said...

First and Foremost: Beautious story ER! So many images, my head is weaving and swimming with them.

Chemistry, scent and taste, is crucial to a long lasting relationship. I think we are bound by it. My husband's first wife thought he stunk, I sense nothing but sweetness and spice. Seriously, she complained of his feet smelling and body odor, he has changed no habits, I don't "smell" him at all. We jive. His jiz is sweet and salty like the sea air in Ischia, (stay tuned). TMI? Sorry.

Second, but equally important, thank you for thinking of me/us here. We didn't feel a thing, fortunately, although you might say, the earth did move for us at one point, breakfast in bed, you might say.

Trains and boats and planes (and buses), let the tour continue...

See you soon.

Aisling Weaver said...

Oh! *whacks forehead*

Somehow I missed the smell and taste too! I absolutely adore the smell of a man(hell, a woman too!). You just have to know that there's hidden messages in those smells, phermones connecting you and your lover together, relaying your compatibility. Maybe that's why some scents just don't seem pallatable. Did I spell that correctly?

Commenting from work, so sorry for its brevity!


EllaRegina said...

Benvenuto, Isabel!

First of all I'm glad you're OK. Earthquakes are scary.

Thank you for stopping by, what with the calamity over there. I do appreciate it.

Happy you enjoyed the story. It takes place guess where!? Please lie down if your head weaves and spins too much. There's been enough seismographic turbulence today.

Yes, it's odd. One person can smell awful to another and then divine to yet someone else. It's chemistry, indeed. Also subjective. Like saying "Oh, this restaurant makes the best _____!" And then you go and think "meh, no big deal."

Here is a snippet about smell, from a shorty I wrote for one of Alison's contests. It was called "Around the World." This section took place in Roma:

Around the World:

We come to Rome after an extended period in a soulless Northern European country. The difference between the two places is palpable, literally. All one has to do is clamber onto the early Monday #44 bus ascending the Gianicolo hill in late July -- no air-conditioning, everyone perspiring. Women don't shave under their arms. Americans are trained to abhor this, as well as any corporal odor, but luckily my boyfriend and I are not most Americans. The #44 smells like sex on wheels and we are in olfactory heaven.

He turns to me and says "You can tell who just got fucked this morning," and I agree. The other thing: you know that everyone on the bus has a clean set of genitals; Italians are meticulous about bidet use. Every ass, pussy, cock and ball is fresh -- ready to be had and enjoyed At Any Moment. Benvenuti in Italia! We arrive at his apartment and are fucking like dogs as soon as our shoes reach the entryway floor tiles, luggage dropped, the keys still lodged and swaying in the half-open door.

Hello, again, JM! Hey, with all the distractions of my visual and auditory obstacle course it was easy to miss the point I was making, whatever that was. ;-) Yes, if everybody could just match up with anybody things would be much easier in the mating game. And that's not even taking into consideration personalities and all they entail. Have you ever been fiercely attracted to someone physically even though they were an asshole and you knew you were not and could never be compatible in an all-encompassing way? Maybe you might be a team in bed, but part of life takes place outside of bed -- or the kitchen counter, or the back seat of a car or... You know, like the store Bed Bath and Beyond. The Beyond has to work, too.

(Palatable would be correct.)

EllaRegina said...

(I just put that smell snippet in the post, for those who don't make it beyond the velvet rope into this sacred space.)

EllaRegina said...

(As if people need another distraction!)

Donna said...

Isabel, I read an interesting article on our sense of smell that claimed women are attracted to a man's scent when his immune system complements hers and are repelled when they are too similar, thus making for a poor genetic mix in the progeny. It makes sense. I do find some men's smell offputting and LOVE my husband's. So according to this book, when we talk about a chemical attraction, it's not just a figure of speech. I assured my sons that some women may turn them down for a date for this basic scientific reason. Nothing personal, just pheromones.

They did mention that when a relationship goes sour, women in couples therapy tend to complain they find their husbands' smell more unappealing than they used to.

I haven't mentioned the pineapple/cinnamon/sweet semen theory yet to the boys (although they are both vegetarians).

EllaRegina said...

That's FASCINATING. And so Darwinian, no?

Erobintica said...

I'm back. Much more awake and in a better mood (despite the rain).

Smell and taste. First, a rant against cologne! I cannot stand it! Doesn't matter what brand - if I smell cologne on a man I want to gag - needless to say, Mr. E. does not bother. And since he can't stand perfume, I don't bother. We smell like ourselves. And I happen to loooooooove the smell of him. In fact, somewhat kinky confession here - I get off on the smell of his armpits. I know, that's not what we're talking about here, but ... it does relate ... sorta. Those furry places, ya know? Oh, and I loved the first line - "when people still had pubic hair" - okay, where was I? - smell & taste - though I do like his body odor, snnnnnffffff, I must say that I certainly love it when he's freshly showered.

Alrighty - just had a 20 minute interruption (teenager telling me about his day) - and my train of thought was derailed.

Oh, taste. Asparagus! Hahahaha. My husband hates it, so I've never experienced that. I've never really paid much attention to what he's eaten vs. how he tastes/smells. Very interesting. Hahaha - I found it hilarious (in a sad sort of way) that doctors don't seem to know - or care - about the taste issue. (great article btw ER) Makes you wonder if they ever get BJs.

Okay, I'm gonna post this before it's too late. I'll be back for/with more I'm sure.

Sommer Marsden said...

wowza. there is so much to um...digest! what a spread! (i could do this all day) ;) Just in from day out and about to go for a night out. So very, very please and thankful that you did so much to keep everyone happy. :)

Love all your melange of goodies. I have go back and try to get it all. Don't want to waste a drop! :)

EllaRegina said...

Robin, I am your comrade-in-armpits. Let us unite!

Yes, the furry places -- they're all similarly scented. And the odors are there to attract. That's the plan.

But, armpits maybe have a higher pitch of smell and when someone is sexually excited it's usually emanating from there, rather than from the crotch, or maybe it's just more conveniently (usually) nearby to get a whiff.

I had a "friend" where, for me, it was all about his armpits. I would plant my nose in one or the other and become totally Svengalied, under his spell. When we "broke up" I still had a jacket he'd left at my house, or that I'd borrowed from his house when I was cold. It took a looooong time for me to give it back. I slept with it. I was like Linus and his blankie. I'm pathetic, I admit it. Just, don't tell anyone, OK?

They had a deodorant commercial in the recent past, or maybe it was some vintage 50s ad that I saw on the internet recently, perhaps in some kind of "ironic" mode, wherein a "nurse" or maybe it was a "regular" woman, surveyed a line of men with raised arms, and, as she went by each one she gave a "sniff" test. Naturally (unnaturally, actually, to me), when she detected NO odor the man "passed" the test. I watch this kind of shit and go insane. Is it time yet for my anti-deodorant screed, or was this it? Let me know.

I actually like scents if they "go" with the man -- same for a woman -- when they blend nicely with the person's natural odors. And certain perfume/cologne flavors just turn me off, period. In general, I prefer human smells, as they are.

Emerald said...

I was here in the morning and took the poll, but I didn't have time to watch all the videos then so I was saving commenting for after I had experienced your post completely. :) Lovely poll, btw! Interestingly, I have to say that I have never associated the taste of come with the taste of anything else. I have noticed differences, of course, both among different people and also with the same person at different times, but never have I thought the taste of come tasted like anything else in particular. I don't know why, and it seems it may put me in the minority, but for whatever reason that has been my experience. :)

I found "Sucking A" such a fascinating, evocative, imaginative story — a lovely read! Thank you for sharing!

JM, I can indeed imagine head being given at least in the sleeper car of a train...actually, I don't have to imagine it. ;)

EllaRegina said,
"Have you ever been fiercely attracted to someone physically even though they were an asshole and you knew you were not and could never be compatible in an all-encompassing way?"

I seriously think I could say I found myself attracted to/had sex with more guys like that than not before Mr. Emerald and I met. Not assholes necessarily, but definitely that I did not feel long-term compatible with. Of course, that was completely not what I was looking for, so maybe that was partially intentional. :)

I don't know that I have felt particularly oriented to natural smell. I say natural because cologne has historically turned me on — significantly. Mr. Emerald has been known to talk about my smell, and when I wonder aloud what it is that he's smelling (since I'm not wearing perfume, etc.), he says, "It's the smell of you." I have felt somewhat bewildered by this, as again I don't feel I have often noticed or felt oriented to such things, but this conversation is enlightening as to what he means!

I think there was something else I was going to say, but I seem to have forgotten it amidst this fun house/carnival-like atmosphere. :) Perhaps I will remember it later, lol.

Thank you EllaRegina!!! This strikes me as such an imaginative and characteristic of my impression of you post!! ;) Great fun!

EllaRegina said...

Hi, Sommer! Thanks for stopping by. It sounds like you're on a bit of a whirlwind tour, yerself.

Glad you're happy with my presentation. I hope it's not overkill. I had so many images and videos I liked that instead of paring them down I just said WTF and put them all up in the end (except one), though I had the idea of the simultaneously playing versions of "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" in my head for a while. Clearly one can elect not to do that. They don't play by themselves.

I didn't get approval for my favorite image, though. Pity. Not because the artist was against fellatio or erotica. It was more that she's working on a licensing agreement and didn't want to be handing over images, which I can perfectly understand.

Emerald said...

I forgot to say, it did work for me this morning to check more than one option on the poll. Also, I did play more than one of the posted versions of "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" simultaneously. The effect was charming!

Erobintica said...

comrades-in-armpits - hahahaha - and I remember seeing that nurse/armpit picture - somewhere internetty I'm sure.

honestly - I really AM making dinner right now (I brought my laptop out to the dining room table so I could loiter while stirring)

EllaRegina said...

Hiya, Emerald!

Interesting. So to you "come" tastes like "come." That is true, for sure. I guess it just reminds me of other stuff, too, embedded in its come-ness.

I'm glad you liked Sucking A., but dude, that wasn't a story. It was reeeeeeeeal. OK, maybe I stretched out a one sentence happening into a few pages of words but the only invention is in the way I tell it: A. said "While you were away I got a boner thinking of you and I was on the street and my pre-come started dripping out and this woman walked by me and noticed and gave me the most horrible look." So, you know, I just, uh, milked, or, um, fleshed that out.

I want to have sex with Cary Grant in that berth on that train. But he's dead and would be too old for me if he were alive.

Lucky you, a member of the "on-the-rails" club! Would that be equivalent to the "mile-high club" in train-speak?

Sometimes one is unaware of one's own smell, whether it be natural or a perfume. I have a friend whose husband said he married her because of the way she smelled. There are occasions, like with Mr. Armpit of above, where certain buttons just get pushed. And if all other factors are present, like serious compatibility, love, and so on, of course you'd want to be with your button-pusher! Catnip!

Thank you for commenting. I'm here if you remember what you think you may have forgotten. ;-)

Maybe it's time for me to begin guessing people's weights. The clowns seem to have gone off-duty and I cannot deal with the elephant.

EllaRegina said...

Thanks for the poll heads-up, Emerald! Happy to charm you with bubbles anytime...

Ooooh! Robin, I'm flattered. You're multitasking with finesse, I dare say!

EllaRegina said...

Is Mr. Robin's name Batman?

Emerald said...

I'm sorry, I meant "story" in the general sense of recounting something, not that it was fiction — I did get that it was memoir. Thank you for retelling it! :)

I found what Donna said about scent and immune system very interesting. In Five-Element Acupuncture, which a good friend of mine practices and has treated me in, each element also corresponds to a smell, so I wonder what her response to that and actually to this conversation would be.

Sommer Marsden said...

What is so funny, me and my love of simplicity (yes, me!), of all this smorgasbord you have offered up to us today, this is my very favorite thing. Just this one little line touched me very much. And that is not being dirty.

*Once I went away to a distant land and the beautiful man told me that while I was gone he thought of me. *

I won't even try to explain it. I'll just appreciate it.

I'm in and out. My computer is behaving tres badly. I would very much like to throw it in a bath tub full of water right now. but I need it.

So, if I do not manage to sneak back in today, thank you for having us! You were a very generous hostess!

EllaRegina said...

Right, Emerald. I realised that after I posted. Sometimes I take things so fucking literally. That element business sounds along the same lines. Are the smells related, like in astrology -- to fire, air, water, land? Get your friend in here! ;-)

I should send the story to A., even with the wife and all. I think he would appreciate it. I sent one of my Alison shorties (sorry if that sounds like I'm messing with your underwear, AT) to the man (someone else) who inspired it, and received an appreciative, albeit bewildered, response.

Aw, Sommer, thanks! I understand.

Do not throw computer in tub. Do. Not.

You're very welcome and I'm happy to be a hostess. I apologise for my lack of cocktails and finger food. Maybe they'll arrive soon, with the evening crowd.

Jeremy Edwards said...

I apologise for my lack of cocktails and finger food.

Nonsense! Again I point to the suckable boneless thumb.

EllaRegina said...

Good point! It's kinda like Pigs in a Blanket.

Erobintica said...

vienna sausage all dressed up!

Hmm, his name is not Batman, but I wouldn't mind seeing him in tights. ;-)

as I was growing up, I always got the "hey Robin, where's Batman!" (thanks to the TV show) and then ... then it was "Rockin Robin" *shakes head* thank god I'm old now.

EllaRegina said...

Oh, lordy. I hope I didn't rekindle the trauma. You can buy some tights for the Mister. They're around.

Erobintica said...

no, no trauma - I just never could think of any good comebacks though

wonders if I'd ever have the nerve to send a story based on a real incident to the incidentee. Hmm. Of course I've been doing the "write it like you would have liked it to turn out" method that Rachel KB suggested in Erotica 101. ;-) This of course makes it much more fun to write.

Yeah, where's the evening crowd? Of course, it's not evening everywhere yet. Batman and I are going to cuddle and watch some highbrow movie - "The Meaning of Life" by none other than those philosophers, Monty Python. Wonder if they have any BJ related jokes - it's been so long - and Batman never saw it. (ER, I think I have a new nickname for him - he'll never forgive you - haha)

Oh, and suckable boneless thumb reminds me of my favorite Far Side comic - the boneless chicken ranch!

oh oh, am I showing my age?

D. L. King said...

I came late to this tour but am glad I hopped on. Ella Regina, your prose is strangely lyrical--or peculiarly lyrical. Well, it's both peculiar and lyrical, as always, and I adore it! Reading you is always like and exotic mind vacation.

I, too, am very into smell. I love the way my guy smells, and yes, he does wear cologne. But it mixes with his chemistry and becomes something unique to him. I'll often bury my nose in all his nooks and crannies and sniff.

I once smelled his cologne on another man on the train, but it wasn't right. I could tell it was the same perfume, but not nearly the same scent, and not attractive to me at all.

However, on the side of taste--no, don't like it. I've never liked the taste of semen. I can give a killer blow job and have lots of fun doing it. Most guys will do anything for my blow jobs but they know that if they come in my mouth, it's over. Sorry. That's just me. What can I say?

Now that I've divulged too much information...

EllaRegina said...

That's a great idea, Robin -- to write it like you would have liked it to turn out. I've been thinking along those lines recently, in fact, for a group of stories I want to write: the "what if" versions. Therapeutic, if nothing else...

I'm sure Batman will get used to his name. I bet he'll suddenly develop a need for a "Batmobile."

Hi, D.L.! Welcome to my Tour stop. Thank you for your kind words about my peculiar ones. ;-) I love the idea of transporting people somewhere "else," that's for sure. In fact I transport myself elsewhere when I'm writing which is one of the reasons I write.

Yeah, it's weird, isn't it, when you identify the same perfume you're used to and enjoy, suddenly on a different body where it doesn't attract you? They say that about scents, though, in general, no? That you may smell it on a person somewhere and like it but then try it yourself and find that the smell synthesizes differently with your own body's particulars. We're all walking chemistry sets, in the end.

That's not TMI, imo, it's interesting -- what makes horse races, so to speak. It's good to know what you like and don't and how to figure it out so that everything works all around.

Isabel Kerr said...

An absolute cacophony of thoughts, images, scents and flavors. I MUST lie down. Soon.

There are so many wonderful tangents here, I wish I could go off on all of them everyone. You all are amazing.

EllaRegina, that excerpt is wonderful, to say the least. I have always had several, well many really, but I wont go into all of them here, about The Bidet. One is that, though it is purportedly for women, it was really invented for men to take one before they go back to work in the afternoon after "lunch" with their mistresses and thereby not get "caught."

Good, clean, natural body scent is a real turn on.

You must have been talking about that soulless country in which I lived and in a certain sense experienced sensory deprivation for several years. I am so at home in Italy, I will never leave for long but I sense that it has something to do with having grown up in the northeast where every other neighbor was Italian.

Donna! I can attest to that article by direct experience. What do we need scientists for if we would just listen to our own experience? Forget looks, go for the scent. ; )

So many ideas have been inspired here, but it's 3 AM and now I really Must go lie down!

Than you Ella for opening the floodgates of our senses. Thank you Sommer for introducing us to so many of your delightful friends!

EllaRegina said...

Hi, Isabel!

Wow! I did not know that re the origins of the bidet. Amazing! Cleaning up after "lunch."

Marina said...

Oh, I'm so sorry I'm so late! But, I enjoyed reading everyone's fun! Such a lovely day, ER!

Hey Robin - boneless chicken ranch - I love Far Side! And, you said: "wonders if I'd ever have the nerve to send a story based on a real incident to the incidentee." Yep, I've done that - a few times! Seriously, I think he was touched and tickled - and then, he was touched and tickled!! Ummmm...

And, ER - I clicked on a bunch of the bubbles! It was tremendous - like some Charles Ives composition!

Fun, fun, fun! Thanks!

EllaRegina said...

Charles Ives! Exactly. I just did it, too. I'd been telling everyone all day to do it but had only moderately fiddled with it myself. I let the 5 bubble videos play, starting them basically together. They end at different times so there are all these funny juxtapositions.

Then I went down in 3 elevators simultaneously: ESB, Eiffel Tower, Taipei. Also, notice in the latter that the diagram within the blue oval is the bldg of course but it's also a penis, like any skyscraper worth its weight, and you see a mark representing the elevator's position...


















Emerald said...

"That element business sounds along the same lines. Are the smells related, like in astrology -- to fire, air, water, land?"

Somewhat, though not exactly. The five elements are Fire, Earth, Metal, Wood, and Water. I know some basic things about the tradition, but not very much about the smell correspondences except that I've heard her mention them. (As you can imagine, Five-Element Acupuncture as a practice and understanding contains enormous complexities and details — she has shared a fair amount with me, but I didn't go to graduate school in it for four years like she did, lol.)

This smell business you've brought up has sure seemed interesting to ponder and discuss! Thanks again! :)

Angell said...

Wow - excellent piece of writing ER. I thought it was brilliantly witty and wonderfully sentimental.

All the great videos will take me awhile to see. Must come back and visit when I'm not at work. No speakers here to enjoy the tunage.

But a second round is always a blessing, is it not?

EllaRegina said...

Hi, Emerald City!

I shall surely look into that element biz. Fascinating!

I'm pleased that I could provide food for thought and/or the smell thereof, with the post and its behind the scenes discussions.

Thank YOU!

Hi, Angell!

Oh, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Yes, the videos take some time, though some of them are very very short. I like the old cartoon the best. It's about 8 minutes long.

Yes, you need speakers for the tunage. Tunage of most importance. The cartoon, especially, has some funny sounds, as cartoons usually do. :-)

Thank you for coming by today! I don't mind a second round at all. In fact, I think I'll leave those polls open forever. What statistics I can gather!

Charlotte Stein aka The Mighty Viper said...

Holy schmolien! 55 comments! I feel silly commenting, now, but I have to cos the story's lovely. I love how you get hold of one strange/surreal/beautiful image, and run with it powerfully and consistently.

You rock this BH thingie!


EllaRegina said...

The Mighty Charlotte! Welcome! So lovely that you've hopped aboard my train. We're still here, idling, refurbishing the napkins in the dining car with freshly laundered ones.

Oh, I'm chuffed that you liked the story! Yeah, I just ran with a noodle. I ran and ran.

Never too late or too silly to comment! Always appreciated. By the way, if you do a headcount you'll see that most of the comments are actually mine! :-) I'm either responding to people or just babbling!

But, truly, there was a wonderful dialogue happening involving a slew of cool people in possession of excellent brain juice, and, as you can see, it continues.